Waiting

Waiting, watching, listening, desperate, letting go, living, laughing.

Anna has a thought-provoking article on Psalm 62. All week this thought of waiting, of listening, of letting God alone speak to me has been running through the circuits of my brain.
“ I wait quietly before God”
Waiting and being internally quiet are two things that generally do not go hand in hand for us. Waiting causes impatience and agitation. Waiting can cause despair and loss of hope. Waiting usually is accompanied by watching – wanting to see or hear the answer or object of our being still.

Psalm 61 is a desperate cry to God. The cry comes before the waiting, the being still, being quiet. The desperate cry takes all your energy and leaves you drained, wiped out. Then to wait quietly with stillness and to trust the stillness seems almost impossible.

Does God want us to be desperate? Sometimes He does. Right now I believe I am in a place of needing to be quiet. Yet at times I rant and rage at God and He keeps telling me to wait, to be quiet and be still deep inside. He knows how hard it is for me to do these all at once. I cannot. Only God can make it happen.

Perhaps that is why I love to read how The Message puts this idea of waiting.
“God, the one and only—I’ll wait as long as he says. Everything I need comes from him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, an impregnable caste. I’m set for life.”

Breathing room that Neritia is finding at the edge of the sea. My soul breathing deeply, because it can be still in a safe place. Waiting for God only to answer because He is refusing to allow me to play chess with Him. He is determined that when He wins, I should be set for life.

I am still, waiting. Trying to be still, waiting.