Right Side Up - Again

Right Side Up – again
July 2, 2004

Yesterday morning my world seemed upside down. All the algae that covers the surface of stagnant water, the horrible slimy seaweed that tangles round your feet and the rough and slimy rocks were what I saw in my ocean of life.

Some friends had planned a hike in the afternoon and I almost didn’t join them. I wanted to curl up in a ball in my wide green plush chair and hide myself from the outside world. To keep my own thoughts as company for the day – and that was like pouring salt into already hurting wounds!

I am sure it was God who propelled me out the door! I put on my Rockport’s, put a huge bottle of water and a banana, and my camera, in my knapsack and headed off to join the motley crew.

We drove to Davis Bay and then headed up the hill to park the car and walk towards Chapman Falls. The trail was dry but soft and the earthy fragrance of the forest was like a cleansing perfume. The birds were in abundance in the trees and my friend Luise identified their various calls. This music is one of the most soothing I know, next to the sound of the sea rolling up across the beach. In fact – the wilder the sea the more alive I feel. At one point there was an exquisite long call from some bird. Louise identified it as a sparrow! The insignificant bird that is so valuable to God. The insignificant bird that called to me every morning, literally keeping me alive, when I was in a dark place and wanted to die. Every time I see a sparrow I hear God whisper, “I love you”.

“Okay God – I am listening, I hear You. Thank you for pushing me out the door.”

I was looking up, I was walking in the shade of the trees and then the open sunshine and it was soothing, healing – life giving. It was removing the algae and the seaweed and calling me to come and frolic in the ocean of life that is mine. To be in the here and now.

Chapman Falls is about 1 hour in from the roadway. It gently meanders to the precipice and then plunges down and scrambles over the rocks to the sea. A wooden structure has been placed at the top of the falls to hold back water resulting in a pool. Clear, exceptionally clear water where every rock and tiny fish could be seen! I sat down, took off my shoes and socks and placed my feet into this icy mountain water. No weeds, no algae, just cool clear soothing life giving water! Half of our hiking group jumped in for a swim but I have to confess that after the waters of Barbados, Australia and the Amalfi Coastline I am not a cold water swimmer! I like my warm water. But my feet were delighted to have a dip as we rested here at Chapman Falls.

Now it is “tomorrow” and I look back at yesterday reviewing it all. Reviewing my desperate cries for a rescue in the murky stagnant waters of self-pity. Oh God heard all right! He pushed me out of my apartment and out into the sunshine. Yes literally into the sunshine where a strong wind was blowing. The wind always reminds me of His love and He knew I needed to hear it loud and clear! He didn’t fuss about – He sent it powerfully. He showed me a blend of sunshine and shadows through the woods, the strength and power of the wind that played its unique and haunting song on the “woodwinds” of the forest. He rolled me over so I wasn’t looking down into the murky water but instead floating in the clear cool water where I would look.

God knows I love adventure! But He has to remind me, quite often, that it IS an adventure and not an endurance test. I don’t forget that endurance is part of it but somehow adventure is the part of the life lesson that I too often chose to look away from. Or maybe it was a kayaking lesson on learning to get you upright again after being tipped upside down.