Parker Palmer has some interesting thoughts on solitude and community, and spoken of within the context of the "circle of trust" - safe places. In my own journey into solitude and into community, both have undergone transformation in my perspective and in my degree of participation. Solitude, or aloneness, seemed to be a punishment, an isolation where others did not want my company. Community on the other hand was simply a place of being alone when surrounded by others and neither looked like the circle of trust that Palmer speaks of. Wearing a mask, carrying high walls round the heart, and trying to live a performance based life (the performance to please others) contributed a great deal to the fear of solitude and the fear of community.
Palmer says "We have much to learn from within, but it is easy to get lost in the labyrinth of the inner life. We have much to learn from others, but it is easy to get lost in the confusion of the crowd. So we need solitude and community simultaneously: what we learn in one mode can check and balance what we learn in the other. Together, they make us whole, like breathing in and breathing out." (pg 55 Hidden Wholeness)
"it is about being fully present to ourselves, whether or not we are with others." (pg 55 Hidden Wholeness). This comment in particular has given me new insight into "love your neighbour as yourself" - the ability to love community as much as I love solitude. In the place of hating who I am and keeping walls around my heart I am unable to love, partly because I don't know who I am when I stay in that place. Solitude is the sacred space that invites us to let our soul speak, to be alive, to be authentic, to be heard by our heart and to be heard by the Almighty (as well as the sacred space to listen to the Almighty). How will I be able to let my heart be open to loving others when I cannot love myself? Perhaps Jesus knew how hard it is to truly love ourselves as we and for who we are, yet we deeply crave others to love us. How confusing! I am again seeing the thought of how unbalanced love is when we want others to love us but we are unable to love ourselves. We are not fully present in solitude therefore we are unable to be fully present in community, in relationships. Being fully present anywhere is a journey in itself. How wise of the Almighty to see that we must start so much from the inside so that we can enjoy, participate, be present in the life on the outside, and know true freedom. Loving from within also gives us the grace to find the beauty of others in community, and to accept them as they are. At least that is my quest - as I learn to love myself and be patient with myself, that there will be more grace, patience and love for those around me.
Inhale solitude, exhale solitude
Inhale community, exhale community
and love.
"If we want to create spaces that are safe for the soul, we need to understand why the soul so rarely shows up in everyday life." pg 52 Hidden Wholeness
More morning ramblings.