Hibernation, Light and Redemption

The dining room table is almost 100 years old; it is heavy oak with 3 leaves that are now a darker shade than the grand piece itself. My great Grandparents and their 10 children used to sit round it and I am sure there are many stories it can tell. Yet the mother of this family, my Great Grandmother was deaf since she was a little girl; her stories would have been written on her heart in a unique way.

On the eve of the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, this grand piece was once again was privy to stories, laughter, heart conversation, and comfort, as well as being the setting for the Sensual Table banquet. I held a dinner with women who are well read, well traveled, each on their own in life, and all shared a moment of beauty they remembered. The theme of this remembered beauty was to recount an event in this last month of the year, somewhere in their life, where their senses were brought fully engaged. One shared how as a child in Brazil they would go to the beach and scoop the watery greens, filling their arms and carrying them to the shore and when they were shaken hundreds of tiny shrimp would be released. The frying pan on the open fire was ready to fry this delectable catch and be eaten right away. I can see the sand on their feet, between their toes, hear the laughter, the shouts of who has the largest haul and smell the scent of the butter and garlic ready to bathe the shrimp briefly before they are consumed.

As I sat at the table with these guests I felt a fresh surge of energy which surprised me. This month has been a time of hibernating, of much candle light and of seeking and receiving redemption, new pictures being exchanged for painful old ones in my soul. The early morning routine has been one of slow awakening only when the light begins to break into the day. Candles have been lit and given the gentle invitation to simply linger quietly for a few moments – no reading, no writing – just sitting in the quiet low light of the morning. Evenings have seen me come home, light the candle in the kitchen window (which burns until I go to bed), light the multitude of tea lights, and listen to the soft sounds of the music from the 1400 – 1550’s, a daily routine. It is a season of traditions and I have been creating new ones of my own that hold significance and Holy Presence. It is the month of the least day light and we celebrate the coming of the Light of the World. Christmas is a time of celebration for many and yet for others it is the time of greatest loneliness, despair and isolation. I have been holding the latter in my heart in the morning, in the light of the flames.

Some of my own cup of sorrow has been in relationships that began or ended in this month, of a childhood where Christmas was forbidden. I waited in the soft candlelight, hibernating and seeking new pictures, new celebrations and the Light of Truth in these areas. Luke wrote that redemption was near:” stand up and hold your heads high; because you are about to be liberated!” (CJB). Not only is redemption or liberation here but my heart can say “I know that my Redeemer lives”.

My summation of the hibernation, of seeking Light and redemption in this time is:
Redemption is when the Light comes to the darkness of my soul, changes the picture, takes away fear, and lets me fall into the warmth and awe of Holy Presence.

Hibernation – awaking gently to life
Light – gentle light that is life giving
Redemption – new pictures whispered with infinite tenderness, that breathe life.

The Sensual Table Is Set

This blog has, and will continue to be a place to share about food, the sacredness of the table and how powerfully I feel the call of the need for senses to be awakened. In this place of nourishing our bodies (or at least that is what we are meant to do with food), conversation, communion and fellowship is to also nourish and stimulate the heart, the soul and mind.

The Fast Food industry has deadened our taste buds to the sensations food offers, it has decimated the idea of lingering at the table to converse, and the beauty of a mealtime has been lost in the isolation of the table. Is it just Fast Food? Not at all, but I do find that the Fast Food industry most clearly illustrates the extreme loss of all the holy sacred table was designed to be. The wounding of dysfunctional relationships pushes us apart so that dining together is not safe, rich, or anywhere near the holy experience Jesus modeled for us in this ordinary routine necessity in keeping us alive.

Much of my upbringing was regulated, rigid and legalistic. While the family table was always a safe place, guests meant that children and women were to be silent and not question or attempt to comment. Sensuality was considered “evil” and hence the message was that to be “approved” women must hide every evidence of their femininity. Firstly, sensuality is not related only to sexuality, but it is our senses are attuned, awake and aware of life around us. The feel of the wind, the sound of the birds, the scent of the ocean, flowers, or the burning pile, the feel of the sun, and the vision of the morning being born.

As my senses have come awake so has the awareness that this is how one can be fully present. Being fully present brings me to a place where I can be in Holy Presence and know how my senses take it in: how I hear, see, smell, feel, and taste the presence of the Almighty, of Jesus, of the Spirit. And so, blended with my passion for the culinary art, I have been exploring the Sacred Table as a place of Holy Obedience. In obedience I must create and prepare and invite others to the table, and there with the banquet of colours, tastes, textures, fragrances and others voices, the Sensual Table is a place the Spirit can nudge, coax or whisper to the guests…”come, explore, open your senses and restore life and vibrancy and passion to your soul”.

The journeying has been long. It is no longer just about preparing good food anymore – it is about purposefully preparing and setting the atmosphere and lighting, speaking of this sensual pathway, this pathway of Holy Obedience, and more than anything living in a state of gratitude and awe. The Sensual Table is now a reality! I am inviting friends to the table at Linwood House Ministries to sit at the table and see what the Spirit will bring to the banquet. Any funds raised are used to then go to downtown Vancouver and prepare the Sensual Table for the women we have become friends with, who struggle with addictions and prostitution. Two churches on this Coast have booked an evening of The Sensual Table for members of their congregation, which also involves verbally sharing what the vision for this new venture is all about.
There is such mystery to this calling of Culinary Ministry and the Sensual Table! But then isn’t love a mystery? Isn’t love what calls us to live vibrantly, passionately?

I find this a scary journey at times because it is a mystery! I have no idea where it is going, and at times I wonder if I have the creativity it will take. Yet when an idea starts to flow…wow it is exciting. I find I sit at the piano more to let unwritten notes flow. Ideas for different combinations of foods are coming and my recipe book has new ideas added all the time.

Through this time at the sacred table, the silence and shutting down of the past is not only being redeemed, it is coming to life in a way I had never imagined was possible, in a way that is “other centered sensuality” as Dan Allender says in his definition of living in "awe"