The hard wooden bench, hundreds of years old, in a small room that was lit with natural light, was warm and quiet as they gathered in silence at Meeting for Worship. My friend Anj had invited me to join her and L as they went to their Quaker gathering on Christmas morning. The silence, like the room, was warm and inviting.
Silence has been revealing her true heart to me in this last while. She has moved out from my view of her as the darkness of punishment and legalism into the warmth of the sunlight and shown me her embrace of tenderness and grace. My solitudinal days in the Rocky Mountains, when I lived in Alberta, have been reframed to include the beauty of silence sitting within intimate spaces with the Almighty.
In the quiet of Meeting for Worship my heart began to race and I became thirsty, literally thirsty for water. Silence often urges me to keep my eyes open and watch while I wait for her to speak to me, to make me very aware of the presence of the Trinity. On this Christmas morning of 2005 I opened my gaze and watched an icicle outside slowly drip drip drip. It had formed, grown and become still in the cold, yet now, on this morning of celebrating new life, new birth, the atmosphere that surrounded it and held it also warmed it and began to melt it. I wondered if the melting was also the water of life for my thirst. Was that my own heart journey being reflected back at me? My gaze roamed the small interior of this wooden structure with uneven beams on the ceiling, walls and floor. The years of journeying were visible, as was the invitation to come and wait within her open room. There were several rooms in this little house for worship but the walls were boards that had been hinged so that they could be lifted up and held fully open. Therefore the rooms were completely open and natural light could be seen within, without any barriers. My own heart has many rooms but if I am willing to open the doors of each one the Spirit will fill them with light. When the heart continues the process of thawing it also needs the sanctuary of warmth and Light to give it courage to remain there. My soul is thirsty for the process to continue.
Silence, sacred silence, invites me to embrace the thirst, embrace the openness, and move more deeply into the place of receiving and giving life. Because silence, for me, is becoming a beautiful open room in the dance of intimacy with the Almighty while at the same time it is the safe sacred embrace where every emotion is honoured.