Shifting, changing, moving through the layers, in ways that have are unpredictable.
There is a tough, brittle outer shell, yet deep within is a softness mingled with the heat of emotions that move and shift.
In the earth itself there is a cooler brittle shell that is formed by plates that shift and move as the underlying heat from the center of the earth rises up, finds a weak spot and moves into the atmosphere. The shifting of these plates is constant but when they grind together, the result is an earthquake or tsunami. In order for the heat deep within to be released it must move through many layers and finally through the brittle shell of the earth’s surface. This is an elementary sketch of the geological wonder of plate tectonics.
All day I have been looking at the similarity between these shifting plates in the earth, and the shifting within the soul when truth comes to displace the inner lies – plate tectonics of the soul. When grace meets with deep wounding, it urges the shifting and moving out of the boiling anger and pain that continually feed the wounds. Grace, truth and love must push the lies toward the surface, move it through the layers of our subconscious, to conscious, through numbness into emotions and finally through the brittle shell we have built around our heart to protect us. In the moving out of these lies, the result can be a cataclysmic effect on our whole being!
Over the last week I have been writing out my story. It has been difficult to write down, to accept as my own story, and acknowledge that it is all significant. Deep down, through those layers of pain, joy, sorrow, sin, forgiveness, grace and redemption also lies anger, confusion, and unknowns. Oh I have given permission to Abba to search those places, to open them up and lay them bare but like the core of the earth, there lies a deep rawness. As I wrote it came to the surface and some of those brittle plates of armour and protection shifted, grinding together.
I shared with a friend that I see myself standing on a roadway beside a manhole with the cover removed. There is a putrid smell of sewage, garbage and festering, and try as I might to replace that manhole lid, I cannot, and Abba will not allow it. Once the permission was given for the Divine to search within there is no turning away from it.
Yesterday I sat down with two people I feel very safe with, and asked them to hear my story. Certain events still hold deep raw pain. There are years between the event and yesterday, the power of the emotions took me by surprise. I did not expect my heart, my mind and my body to react so visibly when telling certain parts of the story. Deep within there still lies more anger and pain that begs to be released. The emotions that rose to the surface were those plates of protection shifted, yawing wide open. Truth, gentleness, grace and unconditional love were poured into the place of brokenness and weakness.
As the Spirit moves within and causes the shifting, even the grinding of those brittle soul plates, He breathes into the soul to the release lies, festering, anger, and confusion. I am sure this process will continue, in fact I invite Abba, Yeshua and the Spirit to do so. We were not designed to be like the earth with a cool brittle exterior. We are designed to be tender, vulnerable, and open to the Light of God’s grace, love and truth. Life experiences and lies have changed this for many, for most, but the Master Designed doesn’t loose sight of His original and intended design.
Abba as you shift, change, move through the layers of our lives, with the wind of your Spirit, we hold our dark places open to the Light of your gaze. Continue the work of moving us past the lies, through the wounding and into the truth of your passionate living. Forgive me, be merciful in your extravagant healing, cleansing ways.
O Dio, investigami, e conosci il mio cuore;
Provami, e concosci I miei pensieri;
E vedi se vi e in me alcuna via iniqua;
E giudami per la via del mondo.
Psalm 139:23, 24
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