Claiming the Ribbons

Somewhere in my boxes are old ribbons from school events. Ribbons received as a participant, not because I came in the top three of any event.

Over the last week I have been reading and hearing stories that have really touched deep places in my soul. They are all stories of life. I think of the woman who is almost the same age as me and has lived with incredible excruciating pain since she was 6 years old. In spite of this she continues to inspire those she loves and those she touches. Or the man watching his wife battle through radiation treatments. I have read your stories and seen the pain. I review my own story and see the pain, the joy, the disappointments and the hope. I know the struggle I have had, and still have, to keep them always held up to the Redeemer, and author of my story.

This past week in particular, I have been acutely aware of the redemptive “colours” in each story. What do redemptive story colours look like? Or for that matter, what are “redemptive stories”? Do I have one? Do you? A resounding YES is the answer!
Threads are very fine and difficult to see unless they are woven with others to blend and be visible. Ribbons on the other hand are easier to distinguish and can stand-alone and be seen clearly and boldly. Therefore I have begun to see redemptive ribbons of colour, not threads.

Redemptive stories mean that there is an author in the picture. There is a hero and a plot or purpose. There is ownership to our stories – we take ownership for them. Isaiah wrote “Fear not, for I have redeemed you: I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Not only are these uniquely individual stories but they are stories of honor and abundant love - “since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.” As Anj so often says, she holds things in the Light. Putting all of my story, your story, in the Light, hands held open up to God, vulnerable and honest, then Jesus brings out the good, redeems the dark part and lets the Light pour in. The redemptive aspect, it seems to me, is when we can let God use us, our story, to move forward and to help others.

So what are the colours of these redeemed stories? What are the ribbons in my redemptive story? I can’t ask you about yours unless I am willing to let my own ribbons wave and be visible in the wind of life, the wind of God’s breathing into my soul.

The darkest time was not so many years ago when I lost my identity, lost hope and spent morning after morning deciding that today was the day to kill myself. It was all a very clear plan. Only the exact moment was not defined. The only thing that got me out of bed was to hear the sparrows sing outside my mountain-view living room window. The view was lost to me at that time because the pain was too overwhelming. To this day a sparrow will make me stop – it is an “I love you” message from God. Now when dark thoughts cross my mind the redemptive, blazingly brilliant colours of “passion for life” are what I look for. The blazing colours of the dawn and the sunset.

I have known legalistic religiosity growing up and felt the sting of the sword bite when the Word is used as a weapon. As I thought about this I can see that the redemptive part is the love story Jesus is writing into my heart. That I have not totally shut God out of my life. The colours of this story are the blues of the sky, the colours of freedom beyond what can be seen.

There has been terrible loneliness, being forgotten and overlooked, and the feelings of low self worth that legalism insidiously breeds in people, especially in women. I can see the redemptive ribbons of soft gentle colours that reveal to me how tenderly Jesus has held my heart and how he shows me this through and with others in life.

These redemptive ribbons in my life are all the colours of the rainbow because they stand for the full spectrum of human emotions you and I were created with and that you, and I have and will experience as long as we live and breath here on earth. They are not the ribbons of having come in first, second or third. These are the ribbons for participating in life and embracing it, all of it.

I saw someone this weekend that was so proud of having put all the “horrible “ in her life away, never to be looked at. Alas what I saw was someone who looks like they are in pain. By refusing to acknowledge and take ownership for her own story she cannot yet see the redemptive part of her story. This makes us tough, not tender. Vulnerability and honesty is painful and hard work but it brings the beautifully, gloriously steadfast colours of tenderness and courage. These are the ribbons that show in the dark, that come with fully participating in life.

Looking at all the ribbons in your stories, what a majestically gloriously colourful celebration of life I am looking at! Seeing, really seeing the ribbons in my story, I am smiling and thinking I should be holding up a glass of champagne to say “to life”!
Instead I hold my wreath full of all the redemptive colours in my story. Can you see them? Can you see yours?