This last week my tears have been falling, inside, in the bath, in moments that seem to not make sense. But within my soul also is being held those in suffering and pain and I cannot make sense of it. Reading here of "Senseless Violence", it is one more shard of pain to my heart. Why must I hold this? Why would I not hold it and weep with those whose tears flow, or for those who cannot let the tears fall?
Yesterday I heard a song as I went to take Communion, and as my beloved (he was assisting with giving out Communion) came to me with the Cup, he looked into my eyes and reminded me that I am in Christ and Christ is in me ALWAYS. My tears hovered at the edge of my eyes yet didn't fall as I struggled for control. As I walked to and from Communion the song being sung was this:
1. Christ's is the world in which we move,
Christ's are the folk we're summoned to love,
Christ's is the voice which calls us to care,
and Christ is the one who meets us here.
TO THE LOST CHRIST SHOWS HIS FACE;
TO THE UNLOVED HE GIVES HIS EMBRACE;
TO THOSE WHO CRY IN PAIN OR DISGRACE,
CHRIST MAKES, WITH HIS FRIENDS, A TOUCHING PLACE.
2. Feel for the people we most avoid,
strange or bereaved or never employed;
feel for the women, and feel for the men
who fear that their living is all in vain.
3. Feel for the parents who've lost their child,
feel for the women who men have defiled,
feel for the baby for whom there's no breast,
and feel for the weary who find no rest.
4. Feel for the lives by life confused,
riddled with doubt, in loving abused;
feel for the lonely heart, conscious of sin,
which longs to be pure but fears to begin.
written by John Bell
I want my tears to have Christ in them, to have love in them, and yet I cannot understand how to fit it all together. I believe Christ is here, there, in these places and I must trust this to not let love be crowded out by anger at injustice. I must trust that justice does lie with Christ and in that justice is also a love beyond what my heart now knows. I will be willing to feel the pain, to let the tears come, and know Christ has a purpose that is also to change my heart and soul to know justice and Divine love.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Reflection/Quote
"A faith that is afraid of other people is not faith at all. A faith that supports itself by condemning others is itself condemned by the Gospel."
Thomas Merton
Faith and Violence
pg 214
Monday, October 08, 2007
Thanksgiving Monday Prayer
We are grateful.
You have given us this day
and have given us this way
to say Thank You.
We thank you for giving us
what we need to be grateful.
We offer back to You
all that we have
all that we are.
We know our thank you
is as fragile as we are
- it can be crushed by the care of the moment
- it can disappear in the heat of the day
- it can be blown away by the winds of suffering.
And so we ask You
to take our small thank you
into Your great act of Thanksgiving:
You, Lord of the loaves and fishes,
You who are from God
with God and for God,
You in whom it is all
Yes and Amen.
Pg 69/70
"Acting on Gratitude"
from Radical Gratitude by Mary Jo Leddy
You have given us this day
and have given us this way
to say Thank You.
We thank you for giving us
what we need to be grateful.
We offer back to You
all that we have
all that we are.
We know our thank you
is as fragile as we are
- it can be crushed by the care of the moment
- it can disappear in the heat of the day
- it can be blown away by the winds of suffering.
And so we ask You
to take our small thank you
into Your great act of Thanksgiving:
You, Lord of the loaves and fishes,
You who are from God
with God and for God,
You in whom it is all
Yes and Amen.
Pg 69/70
"Acting on Gratitude"
from Radical Gratitude by Mary Jo Leddy
In Pursuit of.....
Where we live is on the mainland but the only way to get to it is by ferry since no road has yet been built through the mountains to our coastal community. The result of this, time wise, is that we need to leave 45 minutes to get to the ferry to be sure to get on it (since some sailings are very crowded) and then you have the 40 minute sail either to our side or over to the City. Reading time or conversation time, or even nap time, can then become very valuable!
My husband and I had recently been into the City for an evening concert and returned home the next morning. One consequence of living at the mercy of a ferry ride is the fact that you cannot return home late in the evening and a hotel cost must be added to your expense in the “big city”. Nevertheless, we were returning home the next morning and had met a friend who had been at a “Pursuit of Excellence” workshop on one of the Gulf Islands. Seminars have been built around this phrase, people register for them to hear how to be successful, to make more money, to rise in status, to receive the accolades desired…on and on it goes.
As David navigated our little car along the narrow seaside road and we drank in the colours of autumn, he told me “I don’t pursue excellence, I pursue average”. I was about to open my mouth with the rapid response “you are not the least bit average” when I realized there was more to his statement that I wanted to hear. Listening to him share how the pursuit of excellence has caused people to become hard hearted, step on others, “rise” and leave others behind, I began to see how excellence and success have become so enmeshed in the corporate world of moving up and on and increasing your salary that it means something different now. Having spent 20 years in the financial world, I grew to hate this term “The Pursuit of Excellence” because of the soul damage I saw it take on my colleagues.
Looking sideways at this man who has a passion for stewarding the earth, and his community, I realized how much the “extra” to “ordinary” described our lives. Living in the “ordinary” and pursuing it is where one finds the exquisiteness of the life we have been given. We have seasons filled with scent and colour, we have roads to travel, people to meet and stories to hear and time to seek solitude and be still. Our own life stories are full of sorrow and joy, colour, music, tensions that challenge us to choose and either remain still or move forward. Even as I write I think of the last few days of stormy weather and sitting in our little house I could hear the duet of a crackling fire that warmed the room, and the wild wind outside that caused the trees to lean this way and that, the leaves to sail through the air and land on the wet grass, and rain that came to a sudden stop as it hit the large windows. Is this ordinary? Perhaps it depends on which concert of life you wish tickets to!
Our meandering drive allowed us to see how much the ordinary life leads us to look at how we are servants in the sense the Jesus modeled where he held us up as opposed to standing on them. It is a life that shows us what our story is and how to honor the stories of those who share them with us. The ordinary life beckons us to take the road less traveled and to travel at the pace that is more about the journey, not the destination. Our senses will be invited to experience life at a deeper level we thought. In this place of ordinary we have found how living simply means finding treasures that cannot be placed in an institution but they are carried in our souls. This deposit is build up and given away every day it seems with a balance remaining.
Thanksgiving weekend in Canada is this time of year. As we sat round our big old table last night with friends, the candles burning, rose petals scattered over the table cloth that was purchased in a street market in Kiev, wine glasses sparkling in the light, bowls of food being passed round and plates being filled, conversation gently unfolding, I could see the colours of extra-ordinary, catch the scent of them, and feel the fullness of contentment. One more glimpse of how rewarding the “pursuit of ordinary” can be and what an “excellent” way of life it is.
My husband and I had recently been into the City for an evening concert and returned home the next morning. One consequence of living at the mercy of a ferry ride is the fact that you cannot return home late in the evening and a hotel cost must be added to your expense in the “big city”. Nevertheless, we were returning home the next morning and had met a friend who had been at a “Pursuit of Excellence” workshop on one of the Gulf Islands. Seminars have been built around this phrase, people register for them to hear how to be successful, to make more money, to rise in status, to receive the accolades desired…on and on it goes.
As David navigated our little car along the narrow seaside road and we drank in the colours of autumn, he told me “I don’t pursue excellence, I pursue average”. I was about to open my mouth with the rapid response “you are not the least bit average” when I realized there was more to his statement that I wanted to hear. Listening to him share how the pursuit of excellence has caused people to become hard hearted, step on others, “rise” and leave others behind, I began to see how excellence and success have become so enmeshed in the corporate world of moving up and on and increasing your salary that it means something different now. Having spent 20 years in the financial world, I grew to hate this term “The Pursuit of Excellence” because of the soul damage I saw it take on my colleagues.
Looking sideways at this man who has a passion for stewarding the earth, and his community, I realized how much the “extra” to “ordinary” described our lives. Living in the “ordinary” and pursuing it is where one finds the exquisiteness of the life we have been given. We have seasons filled with scent and colour, we have roads to travel, people to meet and stories to hear and time to seek solitude and be still. Our own life stories are full of sorrow and joy, colour, music, tensions that challenge us to choose and either remain still or move forward. Even as I write I think of the last few days of stormy weather and sitting in our little house I could hear the duet of a crackling fire that warmed the room, and the wild wind outside that caused the trees to lean this way and that, the leaves to sail through the air and land on the wet grass, and rain that came to a sudden stop as it hit the large windows. Is this ordinary? Perhaps it depends on which concert of life you wish tickets to!
Our meandering drive allowed us to see how much the ordinary life leads us to look at how we are servants in the sense the Jesus modeled where he held us up as opposed to standing on them. It is a life that shows us what our story is and how to honor the stories of those who share them with us. The ordinary life beckons us to take the road less traveled and to travel at the pace that is more about the journey, not the destination. Our senses will be invited to experience life at a deeper level we thought. In this place of ordinary we have found how living simply means finding treasures that cannot be placed in an institution but they are carried in our souls. This deposit is build up and given away every day it seems with a balance remaining.
Thanksgiving weekend in Canada is this time of year. As we sat round our big old table last night with friends, the candles burning, rose petals scattered over the table cloth that was purchased in a street market in Kiev, wine glasses sparkling in the light, bowls of food being passed round and plates being filled, conversation gently unfolding, I could see the colours of extra-ordinary, catch the scent of them, and feel the fullness of contentment. One more glimpse of how rewarding the “pursuit of ordinary” can be and what an “excellent” way of life it is.
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