The soul, the essence of each person, holds who we are. Yet the soul is also the place of deep and lasting wounding, the inner most place that seems to heal slowest and be most sensitive to confusion.
In a recent discussion, concerning some confusion and chaos surrounding us, it was clear that many of us feel as if our soul is getting lost. The essence of who we really are is becoming clouded which plays out in ways that are difficult to understand and deal with. One ends up feeling crappy most of the time! Energy is stolen from the heart for giving and instead being horded in the inner cave of survival. Dignity is robbed from our soul and is often replaced with contempt. Not the place I want to live from, yet a place my soul goes when threatened and refusing to surrender to the thief.
Henri Nouwen writes about “guarding our souls”: The great danger of the turmoil of the end-time in which we live is losing our souls. Losing our souls means losing touch with our centre, our true call in life, our mission, our spiritual task. Losing our soul means becoming so distracted by and preoccupied with all that is happening around us that we end up fragmented, confused, and erratic.”
What I find fascinating is the dichotomy of this statement. When the soul is guarded and protected, the surrounding rush of life seems to draw me to a place of life, of alertness, of finding the mystery and wonder that is held, seen, and participated in. Yet when one is pulled in many directions and seems to be fragmented, then that rush of life seems to have an implosive effect – falling apart from the inside out.
“The pressures of religious conformity and political correctness in our culture bring us face-to-face with what Johannes Metz called the ‘poverty of uniqueness’, writes Brennan Manning. He states that the ‘poverty of uniqueness’ is “the call of Jesus to stand utterly alone when the only alternative is to cut a deal at the price of one’s integrity. It is a lonely yes to the whispers of our true self, a clinging to our core identity when companionship and community support are withheld.” (pg 136 Abba’s Child)
This lost and found see-saw our souls seem to oscillate on is surely not the way we were designed to live and yet somehow we have learned to adapt to this unnatural way of life.
Metz’s quote is percolating inside me – what a tragedy that our uniqueness becomes lost in conformity rather than found and celebrated from the inside out.