The Story Ring
A true friend hears you when no one else can,Dares you to be yourself when you have lost your way,Reminds you of the song in your heart, when you have forgotten the words,And above all loves you for who you really are.
These are the words on a beautiful birthday card I received on the weekend. They speak of grace, of love, and of those who have committed to walking the journey into freedom with me.
But they remind me of someone very special who walked through my life, who walked with me for 20 years - Edith. She was my boss, who when I was 19, didn't fire me because I didn't know how to do the job they hired me for, but instead she patiently began my training. She arrived early at work each morning when her husband dropped her off on his way to work. I began coming early so we could have coffee together. Edith made me laugh, she took me outside my serious world and told me the stories of her life that had been filled with dancing at country dances, dating, flirtation, 5 engagements and how she finally chose Pete. She was going to be a nurse but at 18 the pain in her hands and feet was too great and she had to drop out. Edith and Pete had longed to adopt a child but in those days the Doctor had to sign the papers of approval and he refused to do so - he felt her disease wouldn't allow her to be a mother. Edith had rheumatoid arthritis and whatever medications were available in her early years she was allergic to.
When I met her she was in her 50s. Edith became the first person that I really opened my heart to, the first person I opened up my inner windows of the soul to and she poured her love through them. To her I wasn't known by who my father was, or who my mother was, rather I was just "Stephanie" with individual character, dreams, and struggles. I wasn't defined by who I belonged to, or by the church I was in - to Edith I was her friend, and almost a surrogate daughter.
There is much much more to the story of my friendship with this brave and courageous woman but I will not tell that today. In the last years of her life my spare time became her time sitting on the floor at her feet where we watch TV together and where she could see me easily because she couldn't lift her head up. She poured courage into my soul and she was my safe place to tell my story. In fact she was the only place to tell my story which was a most treasured gift from her heart. She was that true friend. In the last week of her life I sat by her bedside watching her breathing slow, her eyes close and then that final moment of the last heartbeat. The gift of sitting beside someone as they die cannot be put into words and that was what I had with my friend - the last moments with her.She left me a couple of rings that have been sitting tucked away in the 7 years since she has been gone. I have been waiting for the right way to use them to honour this precious friend who poured grace into my life. In April I began the process of designing this piece of jewellery with her rings - blending her story and mine together. She was unable to cry because her tear ducts did not function and so her unshed tears, and my own tears (many unshed) are symbolized in this "story ring":
Life is full of threads that seem to twist and turn and wind together and often you cannot see where they begin or end. The tears we shed do not come in any pattern but rather they are woven into, between, underneath and around the threads of our own life story. Every tear we shed is its own jewel, its own multifaceted diamond of truth and reflection as our story is held in Abba's Light. The colour (for me) of honour is gold and one must hold the tears and threads (cup of joy and cup of sorrow as Henri Nouwen speaks of it) with the gold of honour - the Almighty holds our story that way asking us to do the same. Finally in the circle of life there is Grace! Grace that holds it all together, grace that is seamless with no visible beginning or end, grace that borders every story written, in process of writing, and being told. It is all fashioned by hand, the hands of the Almighty with artistic precision.
Thank you Edith for your amazing friendship, your love, your laughter and your example of living through the challenges. You dared me to swim to freedom! I still miss you. As the diamonds sparkle I remember you, I breathe gratitude out for those 20 years of gifting you gave to this soul.