In my recent trip to the Crimean area of Ukraine I found myself looking at legalism in the church, that seems to have followed the control of Communism, and looking at the various affects of that.
In my first article here I was sharing a little about how "hope" looked through the eyes of legalism.
I have been working at this next article sitting in my computer and my thoughts for longer than I expected. I sit down to write, put down a few words, erase them, look at the screen, try again and then go away. It is strange pattern that draws me to write and when I get there I cannot. So today I have erased all I wrote and begun again. The subject of being silenced and hiding ones femininity has been a place of deep wounding in my spiritual journey - and a place of tender healing and redeeming. Somehow my own silencing from years in a legalistic community were putting up an invisible barrier which I have only become aware of this morning. The past persists on intruding in the present and only as I have recognized this unwanted intrusion have I been able to sit down again and begin.
What is it about legalism and it's lack of grace that has such fear of the feminine and her voice? It is almost as if Lady Wisdom and all the Spirit longs to show us of our femininity are a threat that legalism fears so deeply it's only defence is to silence it all. Therefore in those places where grace does not flow freely, where the breath of Ruach is held within a box, our own voices are repressed and the sensuality and femininity we were designed with is covered up and in it's place is a silent faceless disembodied woman. The longer she remains in this place of repression, the more she silences her own story, the less there is of who she authentically is. The amazingly strong, bold, and beautiful threads of redemption with be hidden within the tapestry of her own soul and only the dull, undistinguished colours of her heart will be seen. Are not each of us, male or female, created for so much more that this? My experience in a legalistic environment has been that the loss of voice and repression of what is feminine not only makes one invisible but also disconnects the soul from the heart. Living becomes a heartbeat without the passion of Ruach (the meaning of Ruach here is Spirit).
Power and control are like the rudder of legalism steering away from truth, especially if it comes from the feminine voice. Why? Should we not equally be able to speak, to question, to answer, to dialogue? Freedom says we can and we have seen it work. Are not our voices, male and female together, not a syncopated melody of speaking and answering, letting silence be the place of waiting not of punishment, dialoguing equally in freedom? When Jesus said "the truth will set you free" he spoke of the freedom of mind, body and heart - of which part is the voice, and for us as women, part of that is our femininity and sensuality.
One of the results of abuse is the shutting down we experience from the shame, contempt, and the lies we have believed we must live out in order to punish ourselves. In some ways legalism is like a spiritual rape. It "infuses the survivors with the shock of their own vulnerability and humiliation". Rape is one of the ultimate ways that our personhood is robbed of dignity, leaving the victim silenced, shamed, powerless, looking down inside of up and into the eyes of another. The silencing and hiding of the feminine by legalism profoundly robs our personhood of dignity and seeks to silence any speaking of the truth. These systems of control are a cloak to cover an unreal, unauthentic world with a venire of "good" and "truth". Broken and vulnerable, salt is poured into the wounds, causing a deeper silencing and a further retreating of the soul.
The result is that many women live as victims and are unable to breath in true freedom and hope. They live in a colourless world of hopelessness instead of the vibrant rich hues of freedom.
"Silence is a form of agreement" - an old Roman truth. A dialectic is where two opposite truths exist at the same time. Silencing of our story means you accept it while at the same time denying it.
The most significant message I am hearing from pondering this subject has been that the silencing of the feminine heart of God puts a silencing tension as opposed to a creative tension in our lives. Silencing tension brings death - creative tension brings life.
Jesus also said My purpose is to give life in all its fullness. It would be a tragedy if we kept silence and only the stones were left to cry out praise to God, if only stones were left to tell the stories of life. (Luke 19:40) We are to live as embodied women, fully connected to living body, mind, heart, soul and voice in all we are as feminine and in God's image.
Etchings - tentative outlines from which to move as one learns to be more contemplative, to move into this pilgrimage of life and embrace the Mystery that asks us to live with unknowns and surprises.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Meaning of Ruach
In the previous post Wilsonian had asked for more information about Ruach. This short explaination is beautiful.
Hebrew RUACH "voice (of God), wind"
Latvian RUC- "thunder, roar" Latvian RU-na "speech"
The "fundamental" meaning of ruach is both "wind" and "breath".
Ruach is not as something "present" but the "power" at the base of breath and wind, and - in particular (my translation from the German):
"The second fundamental meaning of ruach is "breath", but not as something lasting, but rather as the power expressed in expending a breath of air...not normal breathing, but the special process of breath, in which the dynamic vitality of humans finds expression."
From this link I appreciated this quote:
(Based on letters RUACH ELOHIM can perhaps be read as the life energy that emerges from the Divine Mind)
Hebrew RUACH "voice (of God), wind"
Latvian RUC- "thunder, roar" Latvian RU-na "speech"
The "fundamental" meaning of ruach is both "wind" and "breath".
Ruach is not as something "present" but the "power" at the base of breath and wind, and - in particular (my translation from the German):
"The second fundamental meaning of ruach is "breath", but not as something lasting, but rather as the power expressed in expending a breath of air...not normal breathing, but the special process of breath, in which the dynamic vitality of humans finds expression."
From this link I appreciated this quote:
(Based on letters RUACH ELOHIM can perhaps be read as the life energy that emerges from the Divine Mind)
Thursday, June 23, 2005
One Simple Ingredient
Yesterday I prepared a quattro formaggio penne pasta for dinner. One person, in a group of 30, is very allergic to mustard and so I left it out. Bad move! Not a great pasta sauce.
One little ingredient missing and the flavour lacks zip! Then I beat myself up for making a lousy meal. Wait...firstly it wasn't the best sauce, but secondly, there is no reason to beat myself up because it wasn't perfect. (working on those perfectionist fears) It is a way of holding myself in contempt, to deal with shame I feel at something being "less than". This is an old "recipe" of thinking that the Spirit it working on within my soul.
I have two secret ingredients to much of my savoury food preparation - either Dijon mustard or Balsamic vinegar. For example when you make Risotto add a dash of Balsamic to your rice as it cooks and it just gives a great boost to the flavour. Whenever you make a cheese sauce add a dash of Dijon mustard and it gives body to the sauce. The quattro formaggio sauce had neither and well it was rather boring.
Just one simple ingredient can make all the difference. One simple action, one simple word can make all the difference. It can be the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. It is the difference between living in contempt and shame or learning to live in freedom.
One little ingredient missing and the flavour lacks zip! Then I beat myself up for making a lousy meal. Wait...firstly it wasn't the best sauce, but secondly, there is no reason to beat myself up because it wasn't perfect. (working on those perfectionist fears) It is a way of holding myself in contempt, to deal with shame I feel at something being "less than". This is an old "recipe" of thinking that the Spirit it working on within my soul.
I have two secret ingredients to much of my savoury food preparation - either Dijon mustard or Balsamic vinegar. For example when you make Risotto add a dash of Balsamic to your rice as it cooks and it just gives a great boost to the flavour. Whenever you make a cheese sauce add a dash of Dijon mustard and it gives body to the sauce. The quattro formaggio sauce had neither and well it was rather boring.
Just one simple ingredient can make all the difference. One simple action, one simple word can make all the difference. It can be the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. It is the difference between living in contempt and shame or learning to live in freedom.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
In the midst of Ordinary
I have been trying to work on my next Legalism post but alas life has taken the energy right now.
A good friend has needed to leave "home" and find safety for the time being. Walking that road beside someone in need has taken all my energy.
Hence, wonderful snippets are the "energy bars" that have provided soul food.
The one who prays faithfully moves to the stage of prayer..from knowing to loving. Like human lovers, the centre of the relationship between the one who prays and the Lord gradually moves from the head to the heart. Praying becomes much more "affective" and much less "reflective".
One sure mark of genuine spiritual growth, I think, is a growing preference for the ordinary days of our life with God. We gradually begin to realize that it is when nothing seems to be happening that the most improtant things are really taking place. They clay is molded into a thing of beauty quietly and imperceptibly and our "work" at this time - we who now become the clay in the hands of the divine Potter - is really to learn to "do nothing gracefully", perhaps the hardest and most demanding thing we ever learn to do.
When the Well Runs Dry - Thomas H Green
And in the midst of change, angst for those in pain, I still find myself, like Moses, saying "show me Your glory". Last night the rain pounded on my patio but in the quiet stillness this morning find the Shalom Giver. And rather like Elijah, I have found He wasn't in the wind, nor an earthquak, nor a fire, but this morning at the birth of a new day, He whispers gently in the stillness of the morning. And I find the words that Anj has spoken are in the whispering:
All is well with my soul
In the ordinary is the learning of being and letting my Divine Cartographer map out the next steps of living. Even that miracle of knowing He does, He will, He is - that is extraordinary. And in that I see God's glory!
A good friend has needed to leave "home" and find safety for the time being. Walking that road beside someone in need has taken all my energy.
Hence, wonderful snippets are the "energy bars" that have provided soul food.
The one who prays faithfully moves to the stage of prayer..from knowing to loving. Like human lovers, the centre of the relationship between the one who prays and the Lord gradually moves from the head to the heart. Praying becomes much more "affective" and much less "reflective".
One sure mark of genuine spiritual growth, I think, is a growing preference for the ordinary days of our life with God. We gradually begin to realize that it is when nothing seems to be happening that the most improtant things are really taking place. They clay is molded into a thing of beauty quietly and imperceptibly and our "work" at this time - we who now become the clay in the hands of the divine Potter - is really to learn to "do nothing gracefully", perhaps the hardest and most demanding thing we ever learn to do.
When the Well Runs Dry - Thomas H Green
And in the midst of change, angst for those in pain, I still find myself, like Moses, saying "show me Your glory". Last night the rain pounded on my patio but in the quiet stillness this morning find the Shalom Giver. And rather like Elijah, I have found He wasn't in the wind, nor an earthquak, nor a fire, but this morning at the birth of a new day, He whispers gently in the stillness of the morning. And I find the words that Anj has spoken are in the whispering:
All is well with my soul
In the ordinary is the learning of being and letting my Divine Cartographer map out the next steps of living. Even that miracle of knowing He does, He will, He is - that is extraordinary. And in that I see God's glory!
Monday, June 20, 2005
Wise Words - ancient words
We should always remember that the value of our good works is not based on their number and excellence, but on the love of God which prompts us to do these things.
John of the Cross
John of the Cross
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Legalism #1: Legalism, Communism, Control - Hope
Have you ever gone to the cupboard and upon opening the door a wild assortment of useful and useless objects come tumbling towards you and scatter around your feet. Before restoring them to the shelf one must sort through this conglomeration and decide which should remain and which are junk and should be pitched out.
On my recent trip to the Ukraine, by surprise, I opened a cupboard door that held legalism, control, silencing and hope. Now upon my return I am sorting them out and pitching what isn’t necessary in the storage on my mind and heart. I shift through them and find anger and bitterness were not what spilled out first. Instead I see "that was then and this is now". Before I can put these thoughts away again I must write about them. Therefore this is the first in a series of articles I am writing. This is not a dissection or anatomical exercise but rather perhaps just a look at what was, what is, and letting the Truth of Divine breathing gently do what sorting and dusting are required.
A number of things conspired together to open this cupboard holding “legalism”. Firstly, and most obvious, was my observations of its strength in Eastern Europe, secondly that connection to my own past church history, thirdly reading The Return of the Prodigal Son by Nouwen, and fourthly considering how legalism, communism, and control are entwined and hope is the misfit piece but perhaps the piece that will break the control.
Here the thought of “hope” was looked at briefly. Hope in a legalistic environment is the distant event of being released from this life on earth and then after death waiting for the moment one enters Heaven (based on a relationship with Jesus Christ). Is life here just to be endured - and if so that flies totally in the face of what Jesus meant when he said My purpose is to give life in all it's fullness. Is life on earth simply obeying rules and regulations and the only release from that is death and then at this unknown point hope begins? To me it makes sense that the very reason Jesus came as a human being to earth was to show us how to live in the here and now with all he teaches. The Kingdom of Heaven here now within us is how I see hope, and the reality of living eternal life. Living and breathing is part of hope and then add Jesus offer of giving us a passionate life - it that living hope? Jesus never meant hope to be only a "rescue" tool at death - it is meant to be the truth of being fully alive, and for me that comes in my relationship with Jesus.
Legalism places living in a box of rules, with very few if any, breathing holes. Communism does exactly the same. And someone who seeks to control another in relationship also does. The funny thing is that somehow it is meant to look as if all are equal and yet so glaringly obvious is the fact that it is one assuming a "greater than" role and placing all others in the "less than" category. True hope comes to give us each the true meaning of "greater than" worth that Jesus speaks into our lives. The worth that places all of us on the level place at the foot of the Cross. Legalism, whether political, religious, or relational, removes the warmth and causes a freezing of the senses and vision - the disconnect from real living. Hope is the warmth that brings the thaw and restores life.
In Henri Nouwen's book The Return of the Prodigal Son I felt he spoke of legalism when he described the elder son's outlook.
There is so much resentment among the "just" and the "righteous". There is so much judgement, condemnation and prejudice among the "saints". There is so much frozen anger among the people who are so concerned about avoiding "sin".
This last line there is so much frozen anger among the people who are so concerned about avoiding sin - very very powerful.
Perhaps that is the place I will stop today and ponder more. How does the spring thaw of love and grace bring hope to release us from the frozenness of legality?
On my recent trip to the Ukraine, by surprise, I opened a cupboard door that held legalism, control, silencing and hope. Now upon my return I am sorting them out and pitching what isn’t necessary in the storage on my mind and heart. I shift through them and find anger and bitterness were not what spilled out first. Instead I see "that was then and this is now". Before I can put these thoughts away again I must write about them. Therefore this is the first in a series of articles I am writing. This is not a dissection or anatomical exercise but rather perhaps just a look at what was, what is, and letting the Truth of Divine breathing gently do what sorting and dusting are required.
A number of things conspired together to open this cupboard holding “legalism”. Firstly, and most obvious, was my observations of its strength in Eastern Europe, secondly that connection to my own past church history, thirdly reading The Return of the Prodigal Son by Nouwen, and fourthly considering how legalism, communism, and control are entwined and hope is the misfit piece but perhaps the piece that will break the control.
Here the thought of “hope” was looked at briefly. Hope in a legalistic environment is the distant event of being released from this life on earth and then after death waiting for the moment one enters Heaven (based on a relationship with Jesus Christ). Is life here just to be endured - and if so that flies totally in the face of what Jesus meant when he said My purpose is to give life in all it's fullness. Is life on earth simply obeying rules and regulations and the only release from that is death and then at this unknown point hope begins? To me it makes sense that the very reason Jesus came as a human being to earth was to show us how to live in the here and now with all he teaches. The Kingdom of Heaven here now within us is how I see hope, and the reality of living eternal life. Living and breathing is part of hope and then add Jesus offer of giving us a passionate life - it that living hope? Jesus never meant hope to be only a "rescue" tool at death - it is meant to be the truth of being fully alive, and for me that comes in my relationship with Jesus.
Legalism places living in a box of rules, with very few if any, breathing holes. Communism does exactly the same. And someone who seeks to control another in relationship also does. The funny thing is that somehow it is meant to look as if all are equal and yet so glaringly obvious is the fact that it is one assuming a "greater than" role and placing all others in the "less than" category. True hope comes to give us each the true meaning of "greater than" worth that Jesus speaks into our lives. The worth that places all of us on the level place at the foot of the Cross. Legalism, whether political, religious, or relational, removes the warmth and causes a freezing of the senses and vision - the disconnect from real living. Hope is the warmth that brings the thaw and restores life.
In Henri Nouwen's book The Return of the Prodigal Son I felt he spoke of legalism when he described the elder son's outlook.
There is so much resentment among the "just" and the "righteous". There is so much judgement, condemnation and prejudice among the "saints". There is so much frozen anger among the people who are so concerned about avoiding "sin".
This last line there is so much frozen anger among the people who are so concerned about avoiding sin - very very powerful.
Perhaps that is the place I will stop today and ponder more. How does the spring thaw of love and grace bring hope to release us from the frozenness of legality?
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Via Negativa
In the waiting, in the seeming madness, in the journeying the incomprehensible road with a friend whose soul pain advances and rarely retreats, the all consumingness of it can overwhelm. So in the midst of this journeying with a friend I have placed roses in the room: two long stemmed yellow, 3 Equadorian - vivid, brilliant roses.
We need reminders of beauty. Reminders of where we have been and why we travel this road with others. Markers that tell of the thorns that accompany the beauty.
This morning in quiet time, searching for poetry that speaks of beauty I find something else. The via negativa on the way to the via positiva. The ability to say no while we wait for that to which we can say yes.
The via negativa is the discipline of saying no when we have as yet no clarity about those things to which we can say yes. We take the via negativa when there is not yet any sign of the via positiva. But in the continuous utterance of the no is a profound faith that yes will appear. Not only is it bound to turn up by the law of averages, but it will also appear because we have said no to so much.
David Whyte - The Heart Aroused.
Via negativa may well be the road of hope. The road that is learning to believe the Kingdom of Heaven is here now and the search for Truth is the scent of the rose. The beauty of hope the gives a fragrance to draw us to hope and draw us to the via positiva - that to which we can say "yes".
We need reminders of beauty. Reminders of where we have been and why we travel this road with others. Markers that tell of the thorns that accompany the beauty.
This morning in quiet time, searching for poetry that speaks of beauty I find something else. The via negativa on the way to the via positiva. The ability to say no while we wait for that to which we can say yes.
The via negativa is the discipline of saying no when we have as yet no clarity about those things to which we can say yes. We take the via negativa when there is not yet any sign of the via positiva. But in the continuous utterance of the no is a profound faith that yes will appear. Not only is it bound to turn up by the law of averages, but it will also appear because we have said no to so much.
David Whyte - The Heart Aroused.
Via negativa may well be the road of hope. The road that is learning to believe the Kingdom of Heaven is here now and the search for Truth is the scent of the rose. The beauty of hope the gives a fragrance to draw us to hope and draw us to the via positiva - that to which we can say "yes".
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
The Outrageous Breakfast
When I was in the Ukraine last month we worked with women in two cities in Crimea and tried to add touches of joy and spontaneity to the events. We had arranged to have "breakfast on the beach" on morning but soon discovered that in the town of Sevastopol no one really goes to the beach for breakfast. It was an outrageous idea! A slight change of plan was made and the breakfast would be held in the courtyard of the church where we were staying.
About 7:30AM we were carrying tables out into the garden, bringing dishes and picking flowers. Our host church had a magnificent garden with a glorious bouquet of flowers, colours and scents. The Russian olive tree provided shade in the bright morning sun where the tables were set up. One team member had been given various pieces of fabric to give away in the Ukraine and we draped burgandy tulle on the tables. Next flowers from the garden were arranged, bowls of homemade jam, dishes of sour cream, a bottle of maple syrup from our gift bag, the jar of instant coffee, tea bags, sugar (from sugar beets), fresh bread from around the corner, sliced meat and cheese. Outside the gate people hurried by on their way to work looking into the garden at this strange scene! This was something very unusual to them. Lina, our wonderful kitchen hostess brought out plates full of steaming little pancakes. Nina and Tamara took turns as the 24 hour caretakers of the church and joined us as well. The appointed time of 8:30 arrived and the only guests were our 3 ladies who cared for us with such love and honor.
Here in the morning sun, birds singing in the Russian olive trees, colour and beauty on the table, our team and 3 friends sat down to an extravagant and outrageous breakfast in an country that knows so much scarcity! Laughter, tears, stories - they were the seasoning and sweetness to the morning. These 3 women had cared so tenderly and diligently for us in our week there and they honored us with truths about our work that were so extravagant.
For me this outrageous breakfast held some deep wisdom. I believe Lady Wisdom sat beside me opening my heart to accept some new truth. As many of you know I love my art with food, sharing it with others, seeing how it draws them together at table and the sacred space it facilitates. It is a significant place of worship for me - but one where I tend to remain silent. Sitting under a Russian olive tree, thousands of miles from my "art room" the Spirit revealed to me, through our 3 friends, that my voice is just as essential to my "art room" as are my creative mind and hands. We sat as equals in our Kingdom work with words of truth and our stories to honor each other with.
At Linwood House we seek to let the abundance of the Kingdom affect your senses. In Sevastopol I was sitting at the table, not serving, and drinking in the abundance that all my senses were experiencing. I sat stunned to realize how profoundly this abundance affected me, and as I write I am again overwhelmed by it. This is what Yeshua offers to each of us who hunger and thirst to live passionately. This is what the Spirit wants to fill us with and let flow from us - embracing the extravagance of his outrageous settings! I am humbled to have been shown the honor of what I am doing, and to have been nudged to speak into it more.
It may not be an outrageous breakfast, but for each of us, apprentices in the Kingdom, may we have the opporunity to sit on the "other side" and observe what we do and see how much Abba is enjoying sharing it with others. Perhaps Lady Wisdom and the wind of the Spirit will whisper it to you today.
About 7:30AM we were carrying tables out into the garden, bringing dishes and picking flowers. Our host church had a magnificent garden with a glorious bouquet of flowers, colours and scents. The Russian olive tree provided shade in the bright morning sun where the tables were set up. One team member had been given various pieces of fabric to give away in the Ukraine and we draped burgandy tulle on the tables. Next flowers from the garden were arranged, bowls of homemade jam, dishes of sour cream, a bottle of maple syrup from our gift bag, the jar of instant coffee, tea bags, sugar (from sugar beets), fresh bread from around the corner, sliced meat and cheese. Outside the gate people hurried by on their way to work looking into the garden at this strange scene! This was something very unusual to them. Lina, our wonderful kitchen hostess brought out plates full of steaming little pancakes. Nina and Tamara took turns as the 24 hour caretakers of the church and joined us as well. The appointed time of 8:30 arrived and the only guests were our 3 ladies who cared for us with such love and honor.
Here in the morning sun, birds singing in the Russian olive trees, colour and beauty on the table, our team and 3 friends sat down to an extravagant and outrageous breakfast in an country that knows so much scarcity! Laughter, tears, stories - they were the seasoning and sweetness to the morning. These 3 women had cared so tenderly and diligently for us in our week there and they honored us with truths about our work that were so extravagant.
For me this outrageous breakfast held some deep wisdom. I believe Lady Wisdom sat beside me opening my heart to accept some new truth. As many of you know I love my art with food, sharing it with others, seeing how it draws them together at table and the sacred space it facilitates. It is a significant place of worship for me - but one where I tend to remain silent. Sitting under a Russian olive tree, thousands of miles from my "art room" the Spirit revealed to me, through our 3 friends, that my voice is just as essential to my "art room" as are my creative mind and hands. We sat as equals in our Kingdom work with words of truth and our stories to honor each other with.
At Linwood House we seek to let the abundance of the Kingdom affect your senses. In Sevastopol I was sitting at the table, not serving, and drinking in the abundance that all my senses were experiencing. I sat stunned to realize how profoundly this abundance affected me, and as I write I am again overwhelmed by it. This is what Yeshua offers to each of us who hunger and thirst to live passionately. This is what the Spirit wants to fill us with and let flow from us - embracing the extravagance of his outrageous settings! I am humbled to have been shown the honor of what I am doing, and to have been nudged to speak into it more.
It may not be an outrageous breakfast, but for each of us, apprentices in the Kingdom, may we have the opporunity to sit on the "other side" and observe what we do and see how much Abba is enjoying sharing it with others. Perhaps Lady Wisdom and the wind of the Spirit will whisper it to you today.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Welcome to a new blogger
A new blogger has joined us! Georgia has stepped into the blogging world over at lionheart. Welcome Georgia to this community of conversations, exchanges, and learning!
Hmmm for some reason my post will not accept the link so here it is longhand...
http://alionroars.blogspot.com
Hmmm for some reason my post will not accept the link so here it is longhand...
http://alionroars.blogspot.com
Monday, June 13, 2005
Not Footprints - Butt Prints
I just received this in an email from a friend and frankly, it reminds me to "get my rear in gear" in life!
Butt prints in the Sand
One night, I had a wondrous dream;
One set of footprints there was seen.
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.
But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
"Those prints are large and round and neat, But, Lord, they are too big for feet."
"My child," He said in somber tones.
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.
You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of-faith you would not know.
So I got tired and fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt,
Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb, When one must rise and take a stand, Or leave their butt prints in the sand."
Butt prints in the Sand
One night, I had a wondrous dream;
One set of footprints there was seen.
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.
But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
"Those prints are large and round and neat, But, Lord, they are too big for feet."
"My child," He said in somber tones.
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.
You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of-faith you would not know.
So I got tired and fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt,
Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb, When one must rise and take a stand, Or leave their butt prints in the sand."
Saturday, June 11, 2005
An Interview
Scott had an interview on his blog and suggested that if anyone else wanted to be interview that he would do the same. Never having done that before I decided to go for it. So here's the format:
1. leave me a comment saying "interview me"
2. I will respond by asking you five questions, that I have picked.
3. you will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. you will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. when others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them 5 questions.
So here are my questions from Scott:
1. Your writing is full of such great imagery. Who or what would you consider to be the biggest influence on your writing?
My answer has both who and what. The "who" is an author by the name of W. Phillip Keller. He was a traveller, photographer, writer, agronomist and a shepherd. His writings were the first spiritual writings I ever read that vividly brought God alive for me. He not only had a passion for the outdoors but saw the Creator visibly in nature. I could "see" God, "feel" God and began to know God when I read his books. It started my personal journey of finding intimacy with the Almighty when I went off alone into the mountains when I lived in Alberta. I had always been told that intimacy with God was only really experienced in a corporate setting - yet I never felt it. Being alone with Abba outdoors was the only place I felt whole.
The "what" of my writing is the wind. The wind always speaks to me and to feel it on my body, or to watch it affecting the trees and the sea. I used to go to the park in Calgary on my lunch hour, with paper and pen in hand and wait to feel the wind and then begin to write what I observed and felt. For me the wind is Ruach, it is the Spirit moving, whispering or even shouting, but it powerfully affects my senses when I write.
How do you think you've changed as a result of your trip to the Ukraine?
I sure hope I have changed! What happened was the first week I saw Hope through the eyes of legalism and I saw my life up until 4 years ago. The next week I saw Hope through the eyes of freedom, which is my life now. I believe this has released some bitterness. Telling my story, publically for the first time, of childhood abuse, has in a most unusual way allowed me to actually feel lighter. It gave me the opporunity to connect with another and see her tell her story and find freedom. I feel as if the coat of shame, and control, that has been my life story was removed. Also I more clearly see how we walk beside others in their pain but we are not there to fix them - only to walk along with them, daily learning to celebrate the increasing freedom that comes as we use our voice to share the redeeming in our story.
You're watching TV and something makes you jump off the couch and say "YES". What was it?
A program that tells the truth of what is really in our food today and how toxic our diets have become, and they are willing to stand up against the pharmaceutical companies and huge food conglomerates that are hiding the destructive truth from the public.
If you could spend an hour with one person from any time in history, who would it be?
Today, it would be Maya Angelou. She is a Renaissance woman who has blended the art of cooking and the art of writing in a new book. I'd love to sit in her kitchen and hear her talk about her book Hallelujah, THe Welcome Table. I'd love to write a book about life and food, so perhaps I would catch the scent of it by spending some time sitting at her kitchen table.
What is your favorite thing about blogging?
Blogging has given me a wider audience for my snippets and etchings of life moments. It has been an amazing place to literarily put my thoughts and gain the courage to verbalize them face to face with others. I love how visiting other blogs is like a "library of periodicals" which enlarges my circumference of thinking. The blogging world has infused learning, growing, challenge, and viewpoints of life from different angles with the ability to dialogue on them with the writer.
Thanks Scott for the opportunity and the fun of doing this.
1. leave me a comment saying "interview me"
2. I will respond by asking you five questions, that I have picked.
3. you will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. you will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. when others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them 5 questions.
So here are my questions from Scott:
1. Your writing is full of such great imagery. Who or what would you consider to be the biggest influence on your writing?
My answer has both who and what. The "who" is an author by the name of W. Phillip Keller. He was a traveller, photographer, writer, agronomist and a shepherd. His writings were the first spiritual writings I ever read that vividly brought God alive for me. He not only had a passion for the outdoors but saw the Creator visibly in nature. I could "see" God, "feel" God and began to know God when I read his books. It started my personal journey of finding intimacy with the Almighty when I went off alone into the mountains when I lived in Alberta. I had always been told that intimacy with God was only really experienced in a corporate setting - yet I never felt it. Being alone with Abba outdoors was the only place I felt whole.
The "what" of my writing is the wind. The wind always speaks to me and to feel it on my body, or to watch it affecting the trees and the sea. I used to go to the park in Calgary on my lunch hour, with paper and pen in hand and wait to feel the wind and then begin to write what I observed and felt. For me the wind is Ruach, it is the Spirit moving, whispering or even shouting, but it powerfully affects my senses when I write.
How do you think you've changed as a result of your trip to the Ukraine?
I sure hope I have changed! What happened was the first week I saw Hope through the eyes of legalism and I saw my life up until 4 years ago. The next week I saw Hope through the eyes of freedom, which is my life now. I believe this has released some bitterness. Telling my story, publically for the first time, of childhood abuse, has in a most unusual way allowed me to actually feel lighter. It gave me the opporunity to connect with another and see her tell her story and find freedom. I feel as if the coat of shame, and control, that has been my life story was removed. Also I more clearly see how we walk beside others in their pain but we are not there to fix them - only to walk along with them, daily learning to celebrate the increasing freedom that comes as we use our voice to share the redeeming in our story.
You're watching TV and something makes you jump off the couch and say "YES". What was it?
A program that tells the truth of what is really in our food today and how toxic our diets have become, and they are willing to stand up against the pharmaceutical companies and huge food conglomerates that are hiding the destructive truth from the public.
If you could spend an hour with one person from any time in history, who would it be?
Today, it would be Maya Angelou. She is a Renaissance woman who has blended the art of cooking and the art of writing in a new book. I'd love to sit in her kitchen and hear her talk about her book Hallelujah, THe Welcome Table. I'd love to write a book about life and food, so perhaps I would catch the scent of it by spending some time sitting at her kitchen table.
What is your favorite thing about blogging?
Blogging has given me a wider audience for my snippets and etchings of life moments. It has been an amazing place to literarily put my thoughts and gain the courage to verbalize them face to face with others. I love how visiting other blogs is like a "library of periodicals" which enlarges my circumference of thinking. The blogging world has infused learning, growing, challenge, and viewpoints of life from different angles with the ability to dialogue on them with the writer.
Thanks Scott for the opportunity and the fun of doing this.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
The Road Ahead
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death.
I will fear not, for you are with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
By Thomas Merton, from Thoughts in Solitude
The word cartographer is on my mind these days. The Almighty, God, is the Divine Cartographer, map maker. This writing of Merton's speaks of unknown roads, roads that hold mystery. Yet those mysteries draw the soul that says "yes" to passionately following Jesus. In fact part of the passion is the mystery of the unknown and the expectation of discovery. This Cartographer has designed one map for each life. Within that lies the roads of the heart, the soul, and each day lived in the physical, emotional, mental, metaphysical and spiritual world of each human being.
There is a 1992 movie, Map of the Human Heart where an Eskimo boy, Avik, goes to Montreal for medical treatment and meets a young French girl, Albertine, there. Over time their hearts entwine but Avik is unable to open his heart enough to risk discovering the inner map of the heart. Eventually all sense of direction is lost and he is only a spectator to his own world, not a participant. (The review of this movie was poor but I rather liked it!)
Discovering the map therefore involves participating in the journey, and building a relationship with the Divine Cartographer. I know there is much much more to this subject and I am looking into it, searching it out, and eventually will write more.
Jeremiah had some good advise on consulting this map:
Go stand at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for directions to the old road,
The tried and true road. Then take it.
Discover the right route for your souls.
There is a map for life, a map within the soul planted at, or before, conception. There is also a map within the human heart with every stop, every detour, every past, present, and future destination marked upon it. Every dark place waits to be explored in the Light. There is nothing on our life map that is a surprise to Abba. And there is nothing the Divine Cartographer will not redeem to bring us to the green pastures and still waters that restore our soul. Risk and courage are required in order to uncover the treasure this map holds for each of us.
One more facet to the mystery of life!
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death.
I will fear not, for you are with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
By Thomas Merton, from Thoughts in Solitude
The word cartographer is on my mind these days. The Almighty, God, is the Divine Cartographer, map maker. This writing of Merton's speaks of unknown roads, roads that hold mystery. Yet those mysteries draw the soul that says "yes" to passionately following Jesus. In fact part of the passion is the mystery of the unknown and the expectation of discovery. This Cartographer has designed one map for each life. Within that lies the roads of the heart, the soul, and each day lived in the physical, emotional, mental, metaphysical and spiritual world of each human being.
There is a 1992 movie, Map of the Human Heart where an Eskimo boy, Avik, goes to Montreal for medical treatment and meets a young French girl, Albertine, there. Over time their hearts entwine but Avik is unable to open his heart enough to risk discovering the inner map of the heart. Eventually all sense of direction is lost and he is only a spectator to his own world, not a participant. (The review of this movie was poor but I rather liked it!)
Discovering the map therefore involves participating in the journey, and building a relationship with the Divine Cartographer. I know there is much much more to this subject and I am looking into it, searching it out, and eventually will write more.
Jeremiah had some good advise on consulting this map:
Go stand at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for directions to the old road,
The tried and true road. Then take it.
Discover the right route for your souls.
There is a map for life, a map within the soul planted at, or before, conception. There is also a map within the human heart with every stop, every detour, every past, present, and future destination marked upon it. Every dark place waits to be explored in the Light. There is nothing on our life map that is a surprise to Abba. And there is nothing the Divine Cartographer will not redeem to bring us to the green pastures and still waters that restore our soul. Risk and courage are required in order to uncover the treasure this map holds for each of us.
One more facet to the mystery of life!
Friday, June 03, 2005
Learning, Questioning
Last night The Dance workshop began. These are just a few things I jotted down which I am ruminating on this morning:
- Questions: we are full of questions and not many answers. Learn to love the questions. Learn to live the questions. Stay in the questions and see what is revealed between your head, heart and body.
- If the body has been abused the head and heart pay the price. If the heart has been abused the body and the head pay the price. Are you aware of the price you have paid?
- How do I surrender to that which is?
- When the soul has beauty, everything is animated.
- Our stories are imbedded in the very tissue of our bodies. Listen to your body and what it wants to say to you at this moment. Listen to what your body wants to whisper about your own unique story. Does it want healing? Does it ask for freedom? Does it ask for acceptance?
- From the moment we are born our bodies are split. There is a disconnect between the head, the heart and the body. It is time to come back to living within this body with the heart and mind fully connected to it.
Holy Spirit I invite you to come, reconnect, re-awaken, reunite and refire this wonder of body, mind and spirit that was designed by the Almighty. This life full of questions and journeying is a gift. Breathe energy and passion into connecting tissues that have retreated from participating. Let this day be one of calling forth the Maestro of the Dance, the Lord of the Dance and the acceptance of the invitation to move to the melody of Divine love.
- Questions: we are full of questions and not many answers. Learn to love the questions. Learn to live the questions. Stay in the questions and see what is revealed between your head, heart and body.
- If the body has been abused the head and heart pay the price. If the heart has been abused the body and the head pay the price. Are you aware of the price you have paid?
- How do I surrender to that which is?
- When the soul has beauty, everything is animated.
- Our stories are imbedded in the very tissue of our bodies. Listen to your body and what it wants to say to you at this moment. Listen to what your body wants to whisper about your own unique story. Does it want healing? Does it ask for freedom? Does it ask for acceptance?
- From the moment we are born our bodies are split. There is a disconnect between the head, the heart and the body. It is time to come back to living within this body with the heart and mind fully connected to it.
Holy Spirit I invite you to come, reconnect, re-awaken, reunite and refire this wonder of body, mind and spirit that was designed by the Almighty. This life full of questions and journeying is a gift. Breathe energy and passion into connecting tissues that have retreated from participating. Let this day be one of calling forth the Maestro of the Dance, the Lord of the Dance and the acceptance of the invitation to move to the melody of Divine love.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Divine Exchanges
Stock markets and commodity exchange floors are frentic venues. Even the bidding floor at the Dutch flower exchange is a frantic place where bidding for fragrance and beauty is hectic. Supermarkets, open-air markets - all are places of exchange that reflect our frantic paced living.
Looking at Isaiah 55 in The Message, it is a place full of exchanges, with out the frentic. It is the place of gentle life giving exchanges. The room of exchanging darkness for Light.
thirst for free drink
unnutritious food for food of the soul
deafness for hearing
broken promises for everlasting binding covenants
abandonment for being found
lostness for mercy
judgement for pardon
limited thought patterns for ways beyond imagining
unhealthy thoughts for higher thoughts
parched unusable ground for well watered fertile ground
starvation for full abundant crops
Perhaps those exchanges may be overwhelming but they are necessary to living with passion and colour.
Lady Wisdom then brings advise on how to live with those exchanges when she says I am both insight and the virtue to live it out. Proverbs 12:14 The Message
Looking at Isaiah 55 in The Message, it is a place full of exchanges, with out the frentic. It is the place of gentle life giving exchanges. The room of exchanging darkness for Light.
thirst for free drink
unnutritious food for food of the soul
deafness for hearing
broken promises for everlasting binding covenants
abandonment for being found
lostness for mercy
judgement for pardon
limited thought patterns for ways beyond imagining
unhealthy thoughts for higher thoughts
parched unusable ground for well watered fertile ground
starvation for full abundant crops
Perhaps those exchanges may be overwhelming but they are necessary to living with passion and colour.
Lady Wisdom then brings advise on how to live with those exchanges when she says I am both insight and the virtue to live it out. Proverbs 12:14 The Message
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