Accepting Scraps

She was desperate, pleading, begging. She was ignored, told she was driving people crazy. She came back to the one who had ignored her in the first place, went down on her hands and knees, totally humiliating herself, begging. When she was again mocked, she replied that beggar dogs get scraps from the table. She was willing to accept anything – even the scraps.
He gave in and said “what you want is what you get”.
Matthew 15:21-31 The Message.

This is a very confusing story, and most unlike the One who usually gave dignity and worth to the women who came to Him. Here He almost mocked and belittled her. Why? What is this all about?

She was desperate and would do anything to get her hearts desire – for her daughter to be well. Could it be that Jesus strange behaviour was in fact a mirror to allow those around Him to see what they were doing? Could it be He was showing us what we do to others that we don’t want around us? Yet when she totally humiliated herself and begged for scraps, Jesus gave in saying “Oh women, your faith is something else” and He gave her her hearts desire – her daughter was made well.

This woman had a strength and tenacity that I want. She was willing to be totally humiliated and seen as crazy but she knew the one place, the One person who could change her world. That is where she went and where she stayed until He did change her world.

All too often it has been my lack of self worth that has had me in a place where I have accepted scraps. They didn’t make me whole, didn’t nurture or heal my soul. I went begging for them in places that were not safe, seeking friendship, seeking wholeness and seeking to heal the wounds deep inside. In the silence, in sacred space He is tenderly revealing the truth and in grace and love showing my heart that scraps were never His intention for me. They were never God’s intention for anyone. In the place of humiliation and vulnerability with Abba, He is walking with me to learn to trust His choices.

I still don’t understand why Jesus treated this woman this way and why He relented when she begged for scraps. He doesn’t want any of us to accept scraps, or to beg for leftovers to get what we need in our lives, to get our hearts desire. All I know is that spending time with my Abba, staying there as He changes my world, is the only place I can be right now to be safe and know it isn’t scraps He is sharing it is the best of His world.

How exquisite your love, O God!
How eager we are to run under your wings,
To eat our fill at the banquet you spread
As you fill our tankards with Eden spring water.
You’re a fountain of cascading light,
And you open our eyes to light.
Psalm 36: 7-9

Keep company with God, get in on the best.
Open up before God, keep nothing back;
He’ll do whatever needs to be done:
He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day
And stamp you with approval at high noon.
Psalm 37:4-6