Finding Jesus at the Table

The Mystery of God, of the Divine, of the Trinity, Jesus, and Holy Presence – it is all a mystery to me. Yet within me is the holy longing to pursue, to be pursued and to discover and have revealed to me more of The Mystery.

Places I have been recently, books I have read and conversations that have given glimpses of this subject, of Them, are stirring something, yet again, within me. Why are there tears every time I take communion? Why when I read of the sacred table do I need to be still and hold each thought before I can move on?

Perhaps the weeping is grief mixed with the wonder of the mystery – that while for some the table is the most exclusive place to sit, Jesus is revealing to me that for him it was the most inclusive place. Prostitutes, tax gathers, the poor, the disenfranchised, those whose illnesses made them invisible – there was no one that Jesus would not eat with. In fact the last meal before his crucifixion, he accepted bread from Judas who betrayed him. Jesus knew of the betrayal yet didn’t refuse to eat with him – it was Judas who chose to leave the table, the sacred space of holy presence.

Communion is the table where we celebrate Jesus as the giver of life, the Bread of Life, the One who gives us the most inclusive blessing of life.

I have so many questions as to why this stirring is so profound and powerful. I have so few answers – only the knowing, really knowing that it is Jesus who is sitting with me as I ask the questions and it is Jesus that is beside me as my tears fall onto the bread and into the cup as I take communion.

Jesus has been the Lover I have come to know in the desert places of life, and Holy Presence in the silence and solitude where I found delight. Another part of the Mystery, of Holy Presence is now inviting me closer, deeper – the table where all are welcomed and all are fed, and each one is seen so completely.

I will continue reading and waiting and longing – I will continue the walk with tears on my face to the communion table. I will pursue the Mystery with anticipation.

Wonder, Love, Change

 
 


Not long now until David and I get married - September 8th is the date. Life seems a bit hectic at the moment and I realize why people elope!!! There are so many things everyone wants you to do and trying to fit them all in is a puzzle. But as I think about it and have moments of panic that not all will get done, I realize how much I am doing exactly what I don't want to do...not staying present to this moment in this day and embracing it with wonder and passion. All will fall into place I am sure.

There are still also times when I wonder if all this is real since this is a surprise I have not expected in my life. Yet as we put together our vows, and plan our sacred ceremony, it is about more than just the two of us. It is about our combined communities, our combined families, and how our home will become our sanctuary and a sacred space for those who need to come and rest there.